Monday, April 28, 2008

11:52 PM

Busy Busy Bee.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Yes, I'm absolutely guilty. I haven't blogged for the longest time. Life has never been this hectic before that I can't even recall the last time I had woken up late. I don't even have time for myself. Crap! Anyway, I'll just briefly summarize the recent events to keep up to speed.

Currently, I'm on attachment. 6 freaking months, ending on 8th December, 5 1/2 days a week. This Jap company is the main contractor for the much publised ION Orchard. Well, my job scope is pretty boring, most of my time is spent attending meetings and the working environment here is harsh because making mistakes equals to vulgarities. But the perks would probably be my not-so-bad pay, the gossips that circle around some of my horny, jap bosses, the nicest sub-contractors that I've gotten to know over the last few months and lastly Darren and Chin Ee, my fellow NTU mates who have made every work day fun and more bearble. Meeting them is truly a blessing and I can see it as the beginning of a lasting friendship.

Mischief in the Sample room

Apart from work, the tuitions that I have to supplement my savings and allowance has just been insane. 5 students, 3 of which are taking their O levels. Weekdays after works and sundays too. Pure insanity. I'm saving so much solely for my US trip. No matter how run down I feel at the end of the day, I always remind myself of the light at the end of the tunnel.

And yes, that light has gotten brighter. Airil and I have gone for the interview and signed the contract for the Work & Travel USA. If all goes well, we'll be flying off on the 4th of May and make our way back on the first week of August, 12 weeks of work and 2+ weeks of travel. We'll be working at Sandusky, Ohio - Cedar Point Amusement Park, World's No. 1 (http://www.cedarpoint.com/) as chamber maids, cleaning up rooms, making beds and lots of cleaning. I just pray that the rooms wouldn't be that terrible -cross fingers-

Hari Raya
Hari Raya this year was different from those of the previous ones. For one thing, we celebrated it at my grandparents house in JB. The 'crisis' in my family has gotten better, though there was this silent awkwardness in the air when we all met. Everyone was trying to be friendly and in good spirits. But deep down, I guess we all knew that we'll never be as close as before because of all the things said and done. Still, the highlight of this raya would probably be simply getting together with my whole family.

Hari Raya at JB

Another highlight would be having Airil's parents meet mine. Yes, it was nerve-wreaking for the 2 of us. Somehow, the chinese dads and the malay moms manage to get along pretty well. There was lots of sharing of photo albums between the parents while the kids, Airil and his siblings, Mahirah and I, played monopoly and card games - the true, conventional ice breakers.

Airil's family and Mine

I haven't had time to go visiting because of work. Hopefully, the usual NTU gang will meet up again so we can. Really looking forward to that.

Birthdays
This year's birthday is truly an unforgetable one. There wasn't any elaborate celebrations like what some of my friends had. I'm thankful for all the birthday wishes from my friends and family who remembered my special day. It really means alot. It's been great celebrating birthdays this year.

Spectacular View from Glass Cabin

Birthday Boy unwrapping presents at Carousel

Birthday dinner at Sakura

Khus' Birthday

11:47 AM

Ghost - Howie Day

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Lately I've been thinking. Lately I've been dreaming with you. I'm so resistant to this type of thinking. Oh, now it's shining through. I was alone for the last time. Before my night's vacation with you. Alive from the first. Now I'm denied by the ghost of you.

You take yourself a photograph and laugh at me. Please...

I know there's little use in crying. It's more wide awake and dying then I'm used to. I thought we'd walk these streets together. Now I'm hoping that I'll never have to meet you. Step aside from all this anger. And somewhere in between I can feel you. Ask me should we try again. I'm thinking no. Y'know, it's not what I believe in. It's not what I believe in.

You take yourself a photograph and laugh at me. Please...You make yourself a photograph and laugh at me. Please.

No I, wanna taste you, love. No I...no I... No I, just wanna taste you, love.

Standing in your shoes. I turn and now. You're standing bare in my doorway. I only wish that I had been prepared. I'm gonna have to go along with your way. Just take the plastic camera out. It's the pants you borrowed in the driveway.

Alive from the first. Now I'm denied by the ghost of you.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

11:33 AM

The women in life

Sunday, August 12, 2007

A recent event in my office stirred up some recollections that I've constantly struggled to keep at the back of my mind. My collegue's national day getaway with his girlfriend ended in a really low note cos they just found out that her father was having an affair and her mom is contemplating divorce but at the same time hesitating in fear of losing the kids.

I felt bad for the lady but what I heard is nothing new. I grew up hearing all these crap. Adultery, scandals, falling out of love, money, and many many divorce. At the age of 11, I witnessed a pregnant women who is close to me attempt sucide due to her husband's constant infidelity. Her downcast, sobbing face is still vivid in my memory. By the end of primary school, I knew very much that marriage was far from a fairy tale. Through my secondary school years, I saw how a man would deceive and even delude women into marriage just for money and to fulfill his lust. I bumped into him recently at a store, and I recognized immediately who he was. Not at all to my surprise, he was with another woman. There's plenty of other stories that I can go on about...the wife beater, the one who secretly married, etc.

I saw the women in my life getting hurt over and over. Maybe that's the reason why I am close to them. Their misfortunes are also mine, like a ripple effect. For a long time, the only way I saw marriage was it ending in a divorce. I'm not fearful of commitment. I'm more afraid that it'll be short-lived. And, I fear marriage because it's one huge risk, a gamble with unimaginable consequences. Marriage is not just about the nice, white dress or the 10-course dinner. It's about complete trust to your spouse and tons of work.

Despite everything, I do want to take that gamble one day.Airil has taught me so much about myself for the last 2 years and he brings so much joy to my life. He helped me believe that I can have a lasting relationship too just like my parents. I'm very thankful for all that I have, my loving parents, my sister, my friends and him.

As I approached adulthood in less than a month, I carry with me all the life experiences from my past. I have come to a realization that sometimes, the only person you can rely on is yourself. Those you thought were closest can turn their backs on you. I have to stand on my own two feet.

9:07 PM

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Oh dear friend,

please forgive me.

My dear soul,

it's sometimes bleak,

it's sometimes cold.

Oh dear friend,
I hurt you deeply.
My busted heart,
it's filled with sadness,
it's tainted with cuts.

Oh dear friend,
will you understand.
My teary eyes,
I see memories in disdain,
I judge you from all the lies.

Oh dear friend,

let's retrace back our steps.

My self, my self,

Stop this condemnation,

Shame and blame shelfed.

-Mira-

2:29 PM

Finally!

Saturday, May 26, 2007

After ample tries of permuation and combination (cos I forgot my username)... finally i managed to log in again. Phew!! Blogging is hard to up keep man. When you're absorbed with all other things, it's just the last thing on your mind.

Anyway, I'll promise to update more frequently, at least once every fortnight, cos now my 'Dressing Me Pretty' blog is all under one account. No more excuses. Hee.

12:16 AM

Happy New Year!!!

Monday, January 01, 2007

New Year'r eve was all about peace and solitude. I decided to stay home, really wasn't in the mood for crowded places and blasting music. I spent the last few minutes of 2006 in front of my TV, watching the Vivocity countdown while eating bread and butter. Haha.

Today was much better. I went out to shop at IMM and bought some ingredients for the cake that I was gonna bake - Chocolate Valentino. The name sounds pretty intimidating but surprisingly it's so simply. You only need baking chocolate, eggs and butter.

Airil came over to help. He's really skilled at egg beating. Anyway, the chocolate batter turned out fine but the cake sort of got burned in the oven cos the temperate was a too high and I used the wrong type of circular pan according to my mom. Who knew that baking pans could make such a difference. Lesson learned. I had to scrape off the top layer which was nearly totally black. Haha.

Overall, the cake turned out fine and it was pretty delicious especially when we added whipped cream to the topping. I guess I need more experience when it comes to baking cakes.

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